They are standing outside the bathroom door with their little legs crossed. Maybe that is exaggerating a bit, but not by much. Two of our day trips included Granddaughter Chloe. On the first one, we headed out to the Rolling Hills Zoo outside of Salina. We spent many hours on the road in doing that round trip. It was worth it. The Zoo is very large with spacious areas for the animals. The habitats are very nicely done, carefully mimicking as much as possible the environment that would be natural to the animals in it.
It was easy to negotiate. There was a tram with a spot for the wheel chair. The paths were wide asphalt walkways that were very user friendly, except for the hills that were rolling up and down between displays. Chloe loved it. Mary Ann was not so much of a zoo person, but she seemed to enjoy it too. It was a warm, but pleasant day. They had ice cream in the concession area. Enough said.
On that trip we did not have time to use the other half of our ticket, the one for the large building with displays of stuffed animals, and animated people in appropriate environments. We had heard from others who had been there that the displays were worth seeing. We made a second trip out there with Chloe later in the summer of that same year. It was on the second trip that Mary Ann needed to use the bathroom after we had spent an hour or so walking around the displays. The women’s rest room was huge. There was a long wall lined with stalls. Clearly they were prepared for large groups.
When we entered the women’s rest room, after getting permission from the woman at the ticket counter, Chloe stayed at the door to keep people out while I helped Mary Ann. It turned out to be a major intestinal event. A great deal of time was needed to accomplish the task. I decided to go out and tell Chloe that it would be a long time and check to see if there was anyone who needed to use the restroom. There was — more than anyone, lots of anyones. It was an entire busload of Second Graders, all in need of using the bathroom. The girls were huddled outside the door.
I decided to ask Chloe if she would just stand outside of the handicapped stall Mary Ann was using while the girls used the restroom. Mary Ann just sat there until they were all done and the teacher had given the all clear for me to go back in and help her finish.
It was the bathroom needs that complicated travel, but after surviving the busload of Second Graders, we were somewhat emboldened to head out in the car.
Over the years we had made regular trips to Northern Illinois where we both grew up and had family. As the disease became more difficult to manage, we were not always able to make the ten hour trip. The last time we made that trip, we broke it up by staying in a motel and taking two days to do it. My side of the family had gatherings every year or every two years around my Mother’s birthday, even after she was gone. MaryAnn’s side of the family did not get together often for major reunions since two of her brothers were deceased and the third Brother had alienated himself from the family. Whenever possible we would get together with Sisters-in-Law and as many Nieces and Nephews as could come. We enjoyed those gatherings very much, as well as the reunions with my Brothers and Sisters and their families.
One special treat was getting together with Mary Ann’s three friends from Fifth Grade on. Sometimes we would get together with spouses also. It was always wonderfully entertaining to see and hear the four of them together. Mary Ann laughed more in a few hours with them than she did in the year or years in between the visits. One way or another, we would be sure that the four of them had some time without any of the Spouses. I don’t know what they talked about, but that is most certainly in the “better not to know” category.
The three of them came to visit Mary Ann here a number of times also. All of us recognized the power of healing those visits had for Mary Ann. No matter how much she had declined, when they came, some sort of switch flipped and she perked up, became alert and communicative. The last time they visited was after she had been enrolled in Hospice. I described that visit in an earlier post. We all laughed. She had the closest I had seen to a belly laugh while we sat at the Baskin & Robbins.
Whatever toll the Parkinson’s took, it did not take away family and friends. Travel was not easy, but as long as we could manage it, we headed out. Some were day trips, some were long trips. There will be more to come in the next few posts.
If you want to write a comment about this or any of the posts on this blog, look to the column on the right side of this page, titled “Recent Posts,” click on the name of a post and you will find a box at the end of that article in which you can write a comment. Clicking on the title of the post you are reading will accomplish the same thing. Comments are appreciated.
The Caregiver Calling 