Not one, but two murders in this post — but let me begin with the Call to the church in the Oklahoma City area. The Call came a while before Christmas. I asked for extra time so that I could consider it without Christmas looming. There is no time to think when things are coming at such a frenetic pace during those weeks.
Even weighing the strong connection to the KC area and love for the people, it was time to move to a full Pastoral Ministry. Lisa was a Senior in high school at the Lutheran High, Micah was in the 8th Grade at St. Peter’s Catholic school. I could not take them out of school mid-year.
I accepted the Call and headed for Oklahoma City in February. Mary Ann stayed in KC so that the Kids could finish at their respective schools. Next to this last month, that was the most difficult five months in my life, and, I think, Mary Ann and the kids would say the same.
My last Sunday was January 18, 1987. The Sunday happened to be a rare convergence of dated festivals and a Sunday. It was the day designated as the Confession of St. Peter. I preached that day. There was a farewell dinner scheduled shortly before that. There were over 200 who indicated they would be there. One of the worst snowstorms in the fifteen years hit that evening. Almost 200 people came out for the farewell.
Leaving a congregation is excruciatingly painful. I didn’t realize just how painful it would be. I seem to be pretty naive when it comes to anticipating the intensity of pain. I seem to be using the word “pain” an awful lot in this post, and in recent weeks. What compouned the pain is that I made the choice to leave. I have never doubted that it was the right choice, but one with consequences that are not all pleasant.
I lived with a family that became my family during that time. John and Sherrie were truly brother and sister in Christ to me. They are/were (Sherrie died later in my years there) the most Spiritual people I have ever known. They lived and breathed the love of the Lord without ever presenting a hint of “holier than thou.” They were warm and accepting to me. They understood how hard the transition was for me, and they knew they could not do anything about that.
It was during that time that I discovered must how much I loved Mary Ann, Lisa and Micah. One weekend, they flew to OKC for a visit. I can still remember vividly standing in the airport by some chairs in a waiting area, watching the plane they were on take off to head back to KC. I had then the same feeling I have had in my gut this month. The thought of the possibility of losing them was intolerable.
A few weeks before the decision was made and I left for OKC, Lisa was on a trip to Florida, spending time with my Sister and Brother-in-Law at their condominium right on the beach on the Gulf side. She had spent the last three and a half years with a group at the Lutheran High in Kansas City. That group were the sort of friends who went out together in a cluster, enjoying each other’s company — all good kids. At that time, her best friend was the Principal’s Daughter. He had become a sort of extra Dad to Lisa while she was going to school there.
It happened while Lisa was in Florida. Principal George was stabbed to death just outside the doors of the school. Lisa came back to be with his Daughter, her best friend, their friends and classmates so that she could be a part of the community as together they dealt with the tragedy. That story is more complex than appropriate for public sharing. Lot’s of questions remain.
Then after I moved to Oklahoma City, separated from family, feeling very alone, in spite of the wonderful family with whom I was staying, it happened again. I had bought an alarm clock from Skaggs, a Walgreen’s/CVS sort of place, just a few blocks from the church. It was February 7. I would be preaching my first sermon there the next day, February 8.
When I got home, I discovered that the alarm clock was faulty. I went back to the Skaggs to return it. As I stood at the counter just inside the doors to the store talking with the clerk, I heard a strange sound. The doors opened and someone ran in right in front of me and hid behind the counter. I smelled the gunpowder. An estranged husband had just shot in the face his ex-wife right outside those doors.
I walked by to get to my car as she was dying in the arms of an EMT in the parking lot. The estranged Husband was found some time later at a nearby lake, having taken his own life.
That was the beginning of my ministry in the Oklahoma City area. I wondered what I had gotten myself into.
Lisa was working at a Dinner Playhouse in the Waldo area in Kansas City as her part time job while going to school. She will have to correct my remembering about the cut. I think it was a broken plate that caused the cut on her hand. She had to go to the Emergency Room to get a number of stitches. It was difficult for Lisa and hard on Mary Ann who had to deal with it by herself, while I was in OKC trying to focus on my ministry there.
Mary Ann had some tightness and pain in her left shoulder the fall before this. It moved down her left arm to her hand. The tests began. One of them would be outlawed were it used as an interrogation tool. It is called an EMG [Electromyography]. At that time (maybe still) there was a needle (or needles) stuck in her arm with electrical current going through them, testing the nerve activity. She described it as torture.
There were other tests, all that came back negative. She also was having some balance issues. It was by a process of elimination that a clinical diagnosis was made. There is no test that would give a definitive diagnosis.
I was in Oklahoma City, she was in Kansas City. She phoned me. The diagnosis was Parkinson’s Disease. The vision of the old fellow shuffling along in the hallway outside my basement office years before when on my Vicarage (Internship) with a handkerchief in one hand catching the drool — that vision popped into my mind. I never told Mary Ann about that vision. Mary Ann needed me to be with her. I needed to be with her. The Kids needed for me to be there. I was not.
This has been a difficult post to write. Any one of those events would have been enough to make the transition very tough. All of them together made it almost impossible to bear. I remember my feelings all to well as I was helpless to comfort the people I loved most.
All the while this was going on, I was in the midst of an exciting new beginning at a place filled with some of the most nurturing and affirming people I have ever known. Everyone should have a chance to live in the heart of Oklahoma. It is one of the best kept secrets in the nation.
Next will come the ministry at the church in the OKC area and our lives there. I need a break for a post or two or three before the tragic event in Oklahoma City that had direct impact on our little congregation. Barry Switzer comes first. Google him if you don’t already know who he is.
If you want to write a comment about this or any of the posts on this blog, look to the column on the right side of this page, titled “Recent Posts,” click on the name of a post and you will find a box at the end of that article in which you can write a comment. Clicking on the title of the post you are reading will accomplish the same thing. Comments are appreciated.
July 17, 2010 at 12:13 am
Well, I have been reading these posts eagerly, wondering what you will remember and write about your time here in Oklahoma City. It was a very big part of my life. You and John Williams and Shari Stepanek and I working together, and I had a happy marriage and two kids, a boy and a girl–I think of those years as the best years of my life. Once I went on a job interview, and they asked me what was the best quality of the best boss I ever had. Of course, it was you, and the best quality that came to my mind right away, which was the answer I gave the person conducting the interview, was “a sense of humor.” I hope you remember, as I do, that we had a lot of fun in those days. No one was allowed to take themselves too seriously! (By the way, I didn’t get that job–what a surprise, right? Oh, well, God has always put me where I needed to be, so no matter!)
Well, good night, Pastor Pete! Hope you can sleep well!
Cindra
July 17, 2010 at 2:11 am
I, too, have been reading along with anticipation. I and my family are so glad Pastor George kept your name on the LCMS roster.
To a boy growing up Husker, Barry Switzer was just another of Lucifer’s names. He could always summon “Sooner Magic” in the last minute of the Oklahoma-Nebraska game to send an entire state into deep depression for the holiday season. I realize your OKC friends reading this might be offended, and the guy was just doing his job (too well) but his teams broke my heart so many times.
As long as writing helps you, Pete, we’ll keep reading. -Dave
July 17, 2010 at 6:57 am
Pr Pete:
While reading your post one thing kept running through my mind…all of that pain you endured, helped to make you the fantastic person that you are today. I know that doesn’t help right now. For some reason, you needed to experience that pain, to help you now. Look at it from this perspective, all of that was thrown on you when you moved to OKC, it was all preparation. I remember when my Dad died and I was feeling soooo close to putting myself in a white padded room (seriously) It wasnt just that my Dad died, I had a step mother (whom we did not know until I was taking care of her) had Ahlzheimers, single Mom, other issues I wont mention here. If the mental health center angel had not been there for me, I was mentally toast. I reflect now on that time when I feel lost. God got me through it and made me a better person for finding a way out (scratching and kicking all the way) of that pit of despair.
God is good and you are never alone. He used all that pain then, to assist you now. I know my grief then was nothing compared to yours now, but I just wanted to point you to the top of that pit. It may take you awhile and alot of kicking and scratching…but that light – as always – is from above! Keep reaching for Him and that precious light of love.
I have learned more about you from these postings. Your depth of love for Mary Ann inspires me to be a much better wife and mother. True love is precious and what you shared, well, you were TRULY BLESSED! Take care and know we are always here for you.
July 17, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Pete– I am so thankful that after 41 years we have “reconnected” via the internet. I truly value reading your “autobiography” on Facebook. I have often thought about writing something like that myself “after I retire”. (That will be next year, Lord willing.) Your journal is a real blessing to me.
Paul Doellinger