She watched the director, knew the music, sang with her mouth open wide just as she should, and brought some joy to her Grandparents (and, of course, her parents). This Grandpa loved every minute, since singing was in the center of my life during most of my first two decades of life, and has remained a love until now.
We drove a little over an hour to the church at which Chloe’s choir performed. Her other Grandparents made a trip more than twice that length to come to the concert. The choir is sponsored by the University of Missouri, Kansas City (UMKC). Auditions are required to be able to sing with the choir.
Then logistics needed to accomplish the day’s activities were not always easy. Churches try hard to be accessible for the handicapped, but old buildings often will simply not cooperate in the task of becoming welcoming. We thought it wise to make a bathroom stop before the concert. There was an accessible bathroom inside the ground floor doors near a handicapped parking spot. The doors were locked to force the attendees to use a door that would allow entry to the room from the back.
Gratefully, we got the attention of then attendant who let us in and waited while we used the restroom. The need to change the pad due to incontinence resulted in removing shoes that are difficult to get on and off. We used an elevator to get to the floor on which the concert would be held. As a result of the time spent in the bathroom, we barely made it in through a door in the front of the room, the same door through which the choirs entered. We were directed to the indentation in the pews for wheel chairs, but all the seats around it were filled. Gratefully, a family offered to split up with Dad moving the pew behind so that I could be right behind Mary Ann.
After the concert, to get to the reception area, we had to return the same way, take the elevator to the lower level, pass through the kitchen, and then arrive at the reception area.
Before the concert, we ate out together. The handicapped parking spaces were a block from the restuarant. To get to the booth, we had to go through the serving area. Booths are always a bit of a challenge. Ordering was pretty difficult, as it always is, since a compromised executive function of the brain is among the first of the problems to emerge with Parkinson’s Disease Dementia (Lewy Body Dementia). She really struggled to track and then decide what to order.
Again, getting the food to her mouth, coordinating the straw so that she could drink did not go very well. Then twice, she just fell to the side. [See an earlier post on leaning to the left.] After the second time, I moved from sitting in the chair that had been added for me, to sitting right next to her on the booth bench, with my body supporting hers. When we ate at BoBo’s earlier in the week, she had fallen to the right twice while sitting in the booth.
After the concert we had a nice time with the kids at their house, along with Daughter-in-Law Becky’s parents. Mary Ann was sitting off to the side a bit since she needs a hard, straight-backed chair to keep from being trapped in the chair, unable to assist when she needs to get up. I stood near her so that the conversation would include her, even though she said only a few words.
I need to ask the kids to confirm, but today seemed to indicate that Mary Ann has lost ground in the recent past. I am beginning to accept the possibility that this is just the way it is now — that we have moved to a new normal.
When we left their house, we headed down to see the Plaza Lights. Kansas City is a beautiful place for the most part. The Country Club Plaza, built in the 30’s with all the buildings done in Spanish Architecture, is a wonderful spot. There is a huge fountain on one end. There are parking garages built with the same architecture. There are horse drawn carriages, people walking the sidewalks. There are lots of exclusive stores, most having very expensive merchandise. The lights outline all the buildings and have been put up from Thanksgiving through Christmas for many decades.
We lived in an area a mile or so south of the Plaza for fifteen years. Our children grew up there. It felt wonderful tonight to be driving those same streets that had become so familiar. I realized how much I miss the feel of a metropolitan area that has people walking about, families, young people, folks out walking their dogs, local ethnic restaurants, curved streets, tall trees everywhere. I guess we just fell in love with Kansas City during those years there. As we drove, Mary Ann admitted that she would still like to move back to KC. There are a number of reasons that pretty much eliminate that option, but this is not the first time she has said that. One of the reasons moving back is unlilkely is that the house we bought for $22,500 in 1972 was on the market a couple of years ago, listed at $310.000. What is it they say, “location, location, location.”
All in all, today was a good day. While there were signs of Mary Ann’s apparent decline, the joy of getting out, hearing Chloe sing, enjoying conversation, and seeing beautiful Christmas lights more than compensated.
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The Caregiver Calling 