I think it was around 3am that Mary Ann finally settled.  Then, we were up pretty early again in anticipation of the Bath Aide.  Mary Ann has done no napping today, and she did not go to bed early.  Some days she can sleep well at night, then have a couple of two or three hour naps during the day.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason to when there is lots of sleeping and when there is very little.

When there has been little sleep, I appreciate that I am retired and have no major public responsibilities that would be impacted by my sleep deprivation.  I guess driving is a public responsibility.  If you see a dark colored Honda van coming down the street, give it wide berth.  The driver may be dozing.

Today has turn into a domestic duty day.  It was not planned that way, a couple of things just converged on the day. Both the medication that thin her blood (aspirin and Plavix) and the mucous production increase on account of the Autonomic Nervous System being impacted by the Parkinson’ s and Parkinson’s Dementia, combine to create the need often to change the bedding.  Today was not the usual day to change bedding, but I noticed that even the mattress pad that is protected by two chux had some stains on it.

I got out a new mattress pad and put the dirty one in the downstairs utility sink along with stained bedding, and a two or three ladles of Oxyclean.  After soaking a few hours,  and then running it through the washing machine, it is all in the dryer at the moment.

Then the weather for today and tomorrow allowed working on a much dreaded task. The Ceramic tile floor in the bathroom is a dangerous weapon in a household with someone who has both balance and fainting problems.   After a nasty fall and subequent trip to the Emergency Room, followed by a couple of hours with the Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist trying to get the bleeding stopped, I realized that the tile floor needed something to soften a fall.

I found something called Snaplock, twelve inch squares of mesh made of a strong and supple plastic mesh.  The squares snap together.  The colors were nice and the squares were easy to put together.  The squares are impregnated with something to reduce the mold.  Of course the squares must be taken up and cleaned a few times a year.  The weather is important, since the tiles get washed in the driveway, and dried in the sun.  I scrub them with an old broom after spraying them liberally with spray cleaners that kill mold as well as cleaning the tiles.  They then air dry.  They are on the driveway tonight.  I will leave them there and bring them in after the sun has done its work.

The hardest cleaning task actually is cleaning the ceramic tile that has been covered by the mesh squares.  Mold eventually grows under the tiles.  There is lots of spraying (Tilex and Clorox Cleaner), scrubbing with the broom, and rinsing that has to be done.  It is certainly worth the effort to have the protection on the ceramic floor.  Any Caregiver whose Loved One is subject to falling needs to be sure and cover ceramic tile with something safer.  Gratefully, the Snaplock tiles come in very nice colors, so the result after putting them down is not unappealing.

Blood Pressure update:  Now that I have reduced in half the Midodrine in preparation for starting the new medicine, Mestinon, I am trying to track her BP more closely.  Sitting down at the table earlier in the day, her BP was 107/65.  Tonight while lying down I tried taking it with the electonic meter.  It would not read her BP but gave an error message.  That usually means it is too high for the machine to measure.  When I took her BP by hand, it was 240/120.  There was no doubt about when the beat started and stopped while listening with the stethoscope since the beat was so strong.

That is another example of just how dramatically her BP jumps between high and  low.  Tomorrow morning I plan to add the generic Mestinon.  I hope it works.  I don’t know how long it takes to reach the therapeutic dosage. We will just wait and see what effect, if any, the new medicine has.

As always, we will see what tomorrow brings.

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Noma called this morning and asked if she and Herb could bring over a couple of bottles of Herb’s home made wine.  For a number of years, Herb has provided home made wine for the Thanksgiving Communion services at the congregation from which I retired.  He makes very good tasting wine.  Herb and Noma also brought a little meatloaf that Noma had made, and some home made peanut brittle.

The week started with Jan bringing with her a very tasty Mexican chicken pie on Sunday when she came to spend time with Mary Ann.  Then early in the week Mary brought by a large container of soup made using the Olive Garden recipe for their Pasta E Fagioli.  Jeanne came over for a part of the day today and brought a Quiche from Copper Oven, along with a piece of pie from there for each of us.  Mary Ann’s pie was one of her absolute favorites, Lemon Meringue.  Tomorrow, Mary is going to bring us some pork loin and dressing.

So much of the time Mary Ann is forced to eat my culinary creations, which I just decided to dub, Pastor Pete’s Pottage.  Mercifully, the pottage is interspersed with Glory Day’s pizza slices, Bobo’s burgers, Perkin’s pancakes and a variety of take out foods.  This week Mary Ann is eating like a Queen.  I, of course, am not wanting for good food either, since she needs help in consuming it all.

When food is brought to us, as it has been this week, very often it is brought with the instructions that it can be put in the freezer (or some portion of it) to be enjoyed at some time in the near future.

One of the best things about the food this week is that it is coming at a time when I have been concerned about getting more calories in so that she can stop losing weight.  Convincing her to let me feed her is not always an easy task, but she has let me do so here at home more often.  When I help her, she eats much more.  She has been eating very well with all the good food that has been appearing at our home. We weighed her this afternoon and found that she had gained back about a pound, after having dropped five pounds.

At lunch today, Mary Ann age a full quarter of the Quiche, followed by that very large piece of Lemon Meringue pie.  With my help feeding her, she ate every crumb of both.  She had eaten a good breakfast, the usual yogurt, juice and a large bowl of Shredded Wheat Mini-bites.

She was very tired today.  Yesterday, she got up fairly early and then went back to bed for a relatively short nap.  She ate well and was up the rest of the day.  Today, after the good breakfast, she really shut down and needed a nap.  Shortly after Herb and Noma came by followed by Jeanne’s arrival, Mary Ann got up and was up the rest of the day.

There was one episode that moved me to go ahead and increase the Midodrine that raises her blood pressure.  Between the Quiche and the piece of pie, as she was sitting in the chair at the table, she just went out, had a fainting spell.  I managed to take her blood pressure after she came out of it.  Her BP was 100/60.  That is pretty low for just sitting in a chair.  It sometimes drops lower than that, much lower, when she stands up.  (One time during a tilt table test at the hospital, it dropped to 50/30, when she was moved from lying down to 70% of the way to standing upright.)  When she is lying down it is often as high as 180 or more, over 105 or more.

I have changed out the pills in her daily pill containers so that the dose of Midodrine will return to the pre-hospital stay level.  I have also printed from the Internet an article by the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, a component of the National Institutes of Health.  The article describes a study of a drug named pyridostigmine (brand name, Mestinon), which seems to help the problem of Orthostatic Hypotension (low blood pressure when standing) without raising the patient’s blood pressure when lying down.  The drug’s intended use is to treat myasthenia gravis.  This is an off-label use of the drug.  The study concluded that a low dose of Midodrine combined with therapeutic dose of Mestinon was able to control the Orhostatic Hypotension in most of the subjects.

I will fax or mail or take the article to our Cardiologist to see what he thinks of the idea of trying this new approach.  Our Neurologist, a nationally known authority on the treatment of Parkinson’s, had suggested the option of using Mestinon when the problem of fainting got so much worse last summer.  The goal, of course, is to gain a manageable quality of life without raising her BP to a long term harmful level.

At the moment, Mary Ann seems to be sleeping soundly.  We will hope for a good night.  The weather is supposed to be great tomorrow.  Maybe we can get out of the house for a while.

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Twice today Mary Ann fainted.  She has not done so in many weeks.  The fainting is due to a sudden drop in blood pressure, referred to as Orthostatic Hypotension.  It is another of the systems run by her compromised Parasympathetic Autonomic Nervous System.  That system runs the smooth muscles, such as those that create the peristaltic movement that keeps everything moving through the alimentary canal (esophagus, stomach, intestines, colon).  It also runs the smooth muscles that cause our arteries to constrict when we stand up, raising our blood pressure to compensate for the pull of gravity.

That was a lot of technical language that simply means that people with Mary Ann’s version of Parkinson’s and Dementia are often constipated and often faint after getting up from a sitting or lying position.  In both cases today, Mary Ann fainted when on the toilet stool, after trying to get up.  Having watched this at close range for so many years, it was clear to me that both syncopal episodes (medical term for fainting is syncope) happened when a dose of her generic Sinamet kicked in.  When it kicks in her body starts involuntary wavy motions called Dyskinesias.  Sinamet (Carbidopa-Levadopa) is the main medication that treats Parkinson’s.  It is the same medication that has been used for decades.  Most of the newer meds just help the Sinamet do its job better.

During the hospital stay, I suggested lowering her dosage in half of the medicine (Midodrine) that raises her blood pressure to keep her from fainting.  Last summer we doubled the dosage when the fainting got out of hand and was reducing dramatically our quality of life. That medication and the higher BP slowly damages the heart, reducing its flexibility.  Her heart is enlarging, stiffening, her kidneys are being damaged.  If we eliminate the Midodrine, it might add a little time, but the time would be of little quality.  The goal of my suggestion of lowering the dosage is to find a middle ground that gives us the best we can get of both longevity and quality.

I am not yet ready to raise the dosage of Midodrine.  If the fainting comes only when the Sinamet kicks in, I think we can manage the problem.  If the fainting increases to the level it was last summer (multiple protracted fainting spells, sometimes even just when sitting in her chair) we will need to increase the Midodrine back to the full dosage.  We will do what is necessary when it becomes necessary.  Gratefully, the Cardiologist and Neurologist understand the problem and have given Mary Ann and I the freedom to adjust the two meds (Sinamet and Midodrine) within a prescribed range as we determine appropriate.  I am grateful for the latitude in dosing, and I also feel the weight of that responsibility.

The day continues: Mary Ann slept until about 2pm.  I got her some lunch.  She did reasonably well at feeding herself.  She still is not eating enough.  I convinced her to let me help her with some cake after lunch.  She kept putting the fork to her cheek instead of to her mouth.  She was resisting my help, but eventually I was able to get most of it in her mouth  She managed a snack of ice cream later.

We got to the grocery store!  I was hoping we could get it done.  Since she is in the wheel chair, mobility is not an issue when going to the grocery.  I push her with one hand and pull the grocery cart behind with the other.  It is a little tough on my wrists, especially when she drops her feet to the floor and I am pushing against rubber soles on a tile floor.  Years ago, she used one of the motorized carts.  We gave that up.  There were too many displays put at risk by a driver with spatial issues.

We brought home Sesame Chicken from the Chinese counter in the store, so supper went pretty well.  She went to bed at about 7pm and has been sleeping pretty soundly since.  The first couple of hours after she goes to bed are usually pretty good. I will continue this post tomorrow with a report on how the night went (way more information than any who read this blog actually want or need).

Next day (Friday):  The night wasn’t too bad, but it was another early morning with multiple trips to the commode in the wee hours of the morning and finally up before 7pm.

She ate a good breakfast with my help on the bowl of cereal.  After a while in her chair she wanted to get dressed.  Immediately after getting dressed, she got back in bed for a nap.  That was about two and a half hours ago.  She did get up once for a trip to the bathroom.

The issue of fainting continues to be a concern.  She said that she has been dizzy the last couple of days.  That is usually from the low BP.  I tried to take her blood pressure while she was lying in bed this morning, but it didn’t register on the electronic monitor.  That usually means it is too high for it to measure.  BP is usually highest when lying down, since the heart is not pumping against gravity.

While she hasn’t actually fainted today, she came close to it once when I was trying to get her to the bathroom.  She also has seemed to be dizzy at least a couple more times.  I suspect that the switch to the higher dose of Midodrine will be needed.  I am giving it another day to be sure.

The day continues:  After getting up from her nap, I discovered something mightily irritating.  We had to start using new disposable underwear today.  Kroger’s generic has worked very well for us.  They have just discontinued the combination male/female one for new gender specific ones.  The same size and weight as we used before, but in the new female version managed to leak.  It happened twice.  All her jeans had to be washed.

I can only conclude that someone in the Kroger braintrust decided that it would be better for sales if they marketed gender specific disposables.  That would be fine if they had bothered to make them in a way that actually accomplished their purpose.  To those of us who use them, it is no small inconvenience.  The small amount it took to leak the two times it happened today suggest that a long nap or a long time between trips to the commode during the night would provide enough leakage to demand changing the bedding and washing the linens, as well as whatever she was wearing.

I took them back to the store, got my money back and bought the Depend’s brand in hopes that they will work better.  Even though they also are gender specific, the appear to be constructed in a way more like the generic male/female ones we were using.  The Depend’s brand, of course are $12 and change versus the $9 and change price for the generics.  We buy three or four packages every time we go to the store.  There goes the grocery budget.  We will soon determine if the Depend’s are adequate to the task.

The good news is that I found part of a package of the old generic ones in the bathroom closet.  Hopefully that will get us through until tomorrow.  I change the disposables often to protect against urinary tract infections.

Mary Ann was up for a while this afternoon, after her long nap.  She ate a good lunch, lots of left over Sesame Chicken and a huge piece of cake with ice cream.  We were able to run a number of errands with her in the car while I did the errands.  She is now down for her third nap.  It didn’t begin until almost 5pm.  It is now almost 7:30pm.  She has had no supper.  I don’t think there is a chance there will be much sleeping tonight.

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Her head is hanging over the side of the transfer chair resting on the table next to it.  I suggested that she go to bed, but she insisted on staying there for another half hour.  That half hour will be up in a few minutes.  I wlll take a break and get her into bed in a moment.

After a restless beginning last night, sleep finally came and stuck around.  There were only a few commode trips after she finally settled.  She chose to sleep in until about 9:45am.  That rest seemed to help her alertness and responsiveness.  She has often put her head down on the table today.  I think the restless nights and early mornings have finally caught up with her.

I am heading off to get her to bed now.

She is in bed and already appears to be asleep.  It is too early to tell, but I certainly hope she sleeps well.  She needs the rest.

When the phone rang this morning it was the call I was expecting from the Cardiologist’s Nurse.  She had in hand the reports from the echocardiogram, the carotid sonogram and her blood work.

The call was another encounter with realities that are not visible.  Probably the most serious concern is the increase in the severity of her Pulmonary Hypertension.  That is the disease that took the lives of those who had taken the diet medication called Phen-Fen (sometimes designated in reverse, Fen-Phen).  Pulmonary Hypertension has been a part of the array of Mary Ann’s diseases for the last two to three years.  It is a funcion of the high blood pressure, which is, of course, raised by the Midodrine.  Any treatment would involve medications to reduce her blood pressure, bringing on the return and probably increasing the frequency of the fainting spells.

As last summer’s posts reveal, the fainting spells lower dramatically our ability to function.  Gratefully, both Mary Ann’s Cardiologist and her Neurologist understand the dilemma well and respect our decisions on how to proceed.

As I mentioned a number of posts back when reflecting on the report we had received on her blood work, her kidney function also has declined in the last six months.  She is now only one point away from Stage 4 (of 5 stages) of Chronic Kidney Disease.  A couple of years ago, her Nephrologist agreed that any treatment would lower her blood pressure, creating the same problem as the treatment for the Pulmonary Hypertension.

The Cardiologist’s Nurse said that the lesion in her left Carotid is still not past the 50% mark, which is the point at which the need for surgery comes into play.  She mentioned that there is a build up on her right side also.  I don’t remember whether that has been mentioned before.

The Nurse confirmed that there is leakage in more than one heart valve, including the Mitrovalve.  That regurgitation seems to have worsened some, but the language of the tests was not clear on that issue.  At our last appointment with the Cardiologist six months ago, the leakage was not bad enough for the surgery option to be up for consideration. There are also enlarged chambers in the heart, especially the left Atrium.  That problem has worsened.

All of the above has been factored into our consciousness at some point already in the past.  Hearing the results of the tests bring it all to the surface.  My questions always probe the rate of change.  This set of test results seem to indicate a more pronounced decline that in the past.

I plan to fax the Neurologist to probe further any treatment options for the fainting that might not raise the blood pressure.  At one point he mentioned an off label use of a drug called Mestinon.  The Cardiologist was unfamiliar with it and unwilling to prescribe it at that point.  I may try to get them to talk with one another about that or other options.  Getting doctors to talk with one another is not always an easy thing to accomplish.  They are both good doctors — maybe it can happen.

On the matter of the quality of life and the health of this Caregiver, the power of the Alien possession is now getting scary.  This is the Alien from planet Pedometer Prime who, as in the movie the Body Snatchers, is trying to change me into some sort of walking, exercising pawn.  This will frighten you.  Mary Ann and I made an afternoon run to the store for something.  Afterward, I offered to get some ice cream.  We went to Sheridan’s Frozen Custard for a what they call a concrete.  The one of choice is made with chocolate frozen custard with pecans mixed in.

Here is the terrifying development.  As we approached Sheridan’s, the Alien simply took possession and overpowered my will to eat ice cream.  Those of you who know me well (or have been following this blog) understand just how horrible this was.  I got Mary Ann a concrete as described.  Then the Alien took over the car and drove it to Cedarcrest where I walked the path while Mary Ann ate her treat.  It is a miracle we made it safely.  I certainly had no control over that car or, at the very least, we would have veered left at 17th and headed for Maggie Moo’s.

If that is not horrifying enough, the Alien had already forced me out to walk in the neighborhood early (for me) this morning while Mary Ann slept.  Keep alert, you never know when one of those Aliens will try to take you over too!!

By the way, Mary Ann actually said she liked what I made for supper tonight.  There were a couple of pork chops in the fridge recently thawed and needing to be cooked.  We had some red potatoes, onions and fresh broccoli in the there also.  I cut up the potatoes and veggies and put them on a foil covered cooking sheet (I hate cleaning pans).  We had some Hendrickson’s dressing and marinade that we have used in the past and liked.  I tossed the veggies in it.  Then to make the food preparation easier, I put the pork chops in a baking dish and covered them with the same marinade.  Both dishes went in the oven (375) for almost an hour.  I really liked the meal, but then I like everything.  Mary Ann only ate the meat, but volunteered at one point that it was good.  There is such a feeling of victory when something has passed muster with those finicky taste buds!

Just in case the Alien attacks again in the morning, I had better settle in for the night and get some rest.

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Warm gel is a good thing when having an echo-cardiogram and a carotid sonogram.  Yesterday was Mary Ann’s every six month check of the lesion in one of her carotid arteries (the ones in the neck that supply the brain with blood), and her every six month check of her heart, the valves and general condition.

The tests happen so regularly since at some time, should the lesion in her carotid artery grow past a certain point, the question of surgery will come up.  She has already had one stroke, probably caused by bits of plaque sloughed off from that lesion.  The most we can hope for is very little change in how much of that artery is blocked.  I will admit that neither Mary Ann nor I am much interested in a major surgery.  We would certainly discuss the option.  I would not presume to know for sure what Mary Ann might want to do if surgery is suggested.  Her Mom had it when she was in her 80’s, and she did very well.

What the echocardiogram shows could have some impact on medications.  It was interesting to watch the med tech do the test.  She had a student with her.  She described what she was looking at to the student as she pulled up each view of Mary Ann’s heart.  I had a great view of the screen during the entire test.  It was helpful to me to hear her point out and name the parts of the heart on the screen.  Having watched the screen for the last few echo-cardiograms, I am getting fairly familiar with the images on the screen.  It helped this time to have a running commentary on what I was seeing.

What was especially interesting was a little mini-drama, as the med tech was describing what she was seeing to the student.  At one point there is color added to the screen.  The red indicates blood coming toward the probe, the blue indicates blood moving away from the probe.  When the med tech was checking the valves using the color mode, her voice lowered as she spoke to the student.  I inferred that the movement of the colors was indicating leaking valves and she did not want to break protocol by revealing that within Mary Ann’s and my hearing.  I had been quiet (unusual for me) until then.  I decided to relieve her distress by mentioning Mary Ann’s problem with leaking heart valves. The med tech’s response indicated my assessment of her reaction had been correct.  Up to this point, the leaking is not severe enough to warrant raising the surgery option.

Both Mary Ann and I had blood tests a week ago.  Her orders came from our GP (thyroid and cholesterol check), mine came from our Cardiologist (cholesterol).  Mary Ann is the one with problems, right?  Her numbers were great!  Mine produced a message from the Cardiologist to double the dosage on my cholesterol lowering med.  Mary Ann’s annoying ability to stop eating when she is full, as well as her distaste for leftovers and much of what I cook, seems to be serving her well in the blood chemistry department.  My inability to stop eating until everything is gone on my plate and all the containers on the table, does not serve me so well in the blood chemistry department.  I suspect a program of improved diet, exercise and weight reduction is in my future — perhaps I should have a snack and lie down until that thought passes.

We got a copy of the written results of our blood work yesterday after the tests were done.  Mary Ann’s results revealed the continuing reduction in her kidney function.  The surface of her kidneys has hardened due to decades of high blood pressure.  If you have read earlier posts about her struggle with Orthostatic Hypotension (low blood pressure when standing, producing fainting spells) you will catch the irony.  She is now taking medicine to raise her base blood pressure to reduce the problem of her BP lowering too much when she is standing and walking.  If I am reading the lab report correctly, she has just moved into stage three of five in her Chronic Kidney Disease. The good news is that we all have so much kidney capacity that it could lower to 30% of full functioning without becoming dangerous. When I include that sort of information, remember that I am not a doctor.  Don’t take my word for it. A few years ago a very candid Nephrologist told us that Mary Ann would likely die with Chronic Kidney Disease, not of it.  At that time we all agreed not to treat the kidney disease since the treatment would make the fainting worse by lowering her blood pressure.

As the tests were going on, I thought about how scary all the test results can be.  When we first were told about each of the problems, there was that feeling in the pit of the stomach that the end might be nearing.  After years of monitoring the results of the tests, it is just more information confirming what we already know.  Even if there is something new, Mary Ann has faced down so many medical problems for so many years, we just take it in stride.  Mary Ann could die in ten minutes, ten months, ten years, or more.  So could I.  Death lives just on the other side of life.  Coming to terms with that provides a sense of peace, and affirms the sweetness of the life we have at any given moment.  Our spiritual foundation steals from death its ultimate power to destroy.  Neither of us longs for it.  We both recognize the pain that is left to those we leave behind.  At the same time, we recognize our mortality and have learned to live with it.

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Today was our semi-annual visit to the Neurologist at the KU Medical Center’s Movement Disorder’s Clinic.  Dr. Pahwa is a national level Neurologist specializing in Parkinson’s Disease.  We have struggled mightily with this disease every time we have not been seeing either Dr. Koller before him or Dr. Pahwa.  Geography and insurance interfered with access to KU Med for a number of years during the twenty-two since Mary Ann’s diagnosis.

We are pretty well convinced that we have the best care available.  That is both good news and bad news.  It is good news since we have access to the latest and most effective treatments.  The bad news is that there is not much else we can do to improve Mary Ann’s ability to function.   This is the best we can expect.

Today, we reviewed the medications.  We reported on the changes that have been made.  At Mary Ann’s request, we reduced the dosage of Sinamet, the primary medication that treats the motor symptoms of Parkinson’s.  It is the same medication that has been used for decades.  With all the promising research projects going on, and the various news stories touting a potential cure, not much has changed since the middle of the last century in treating Parkinson’s.

The benefit of reducing the medication is that it has lots of side effects.  Since reducing the dosage Mary Ann has had fewer and less intense hot flashes that are shorter in duration.  There is a little less of the dyskinetic movements (as seen in Michael J. Fox) during the day.  Dr. Pahwa confirmed that change to be appropriate.  That is a medication that often is left to the patient to determine how much is taken.  Those changes are done within the range acceptable to the Neurologist.

I reported the increase in the Midodrine to keep Mary Ann’s blood pressure high enough to reduce the fainting spells (Orhostatic Hypotension) to a more manageable level of intensity and frequency.  The change in that medication was done in consultation with our Cardiologist, who prescribed the Midodrine.

We talked about the increase in hallucinations and their interference with sleeping.  As expected, he suggested a small increase in a medication called Seroquel.  He reminded us that one problem with increasing the Seroquel is that it can make the blood pressure problem worse.  Again, we are riding on a tiny margin between side effects battling one another.  We are in hopes that the contest will end in a draw.

I made the mistake of mentioning something about the online Lewy Body Dementia spouses’ group and information about the Autonomic Nervous System I researched on the Internet.  I can only guess that he is frustrated with Patients and Caregivers who second-guess his recommendations based on the often bad information.  I just made the observation that in looking up what the Parasympathetic side of the Autonomic Nervous system governs, the list included pretty much every area in which Mary Ann has a problem.  He was not rude, nor did he say anything much in response.  He just moved on to closure of the appointment.

I trust his knowledge and experience.  I just recognize that the more we know about the disease, the better we can do at dealing with multiple doctors and the more likely we are to make good decisions by actually understanding the options and their implications. That knowledge has been especially helpful when Mary Ann has gone to the Emergency Room and/or has been hospitalized.  The medical professionals there deal with such a variety of problems that they can’t possibly keep up on the details of all of the various diseases.

The next appointment is six months from now.  We will see if the increase in Seroquel has a positive effect.  Dr. Pahwa is willing to increase the dosage more if this does not work.  He increased the dosage from 100mg to 125mg.  He suggested that we move to 150mg if the smaller increase doesn’t move the hallucinations back to a level that does not interfere with sleep.  That decision is in our hands.

At the moment, we seem to have the best of what is available to deal with the Parkinson’s and the Dementia.  While we would like to have a better quality of life, our job is to make the best of what we have.

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There has been almost no fainting today, but at what price? 

It appears that the increase in Midodrine, a medication that raises the baseline blood pressure, has moved Mary Ann back over the threshold to the ability to stand up and walk without fainting due to a sudden drop in her blood pressure. 

Earlier today, our Cardiologist had Mary Ann come in to have a Holter Monitor hooked up to a number of leads that had been put on her.   If I understand correctly, the monitor is a miniature EKG recorder (Electrocardiogram).  The pattern of Mary Ann’s heart activity is recorded for that twenty-four hours.  We have a log on which we are to record the time of and describe any symptoms, in her case any fainting episodes (Syncope).  The Cardiologist will be looking for any irregularities in her heart beat during the symptoms.  Mary Ann has had this test two other times in the last three years.  If I remember correctly what the Doctor said, there were no irregularities those two times. 

One of the results of the timing of the increase in the dosage of the medicine is that it is working well enough to all but remove the episodes that are to be monitored. 

Here is why the title of this post is “Living on the Edge.”  I asked the Tech today if he would check Mary Ann’s blood pressure since the increased dosage of the Midodrine might be raising it too high.   In fact, I asked if he would first take it while she was lying down.  He did so.  It measured 240/110.  He had a look on his face that was mild shock.  I asked him if he would take it with her sitting up.  He did so.  It measured 248/118.  I was a little surprised since I thought it would lower some.  Then I asked him to take it after she had been standing for a few moments.  He did so.  It measured 140/70. 

The Tech was pretty surprised by the rapid change.  He said that in his twenty year career as an EMT and Clinic Tech, he had never seen anything like it before.  We feel so special!! 

Apparently, Mary Ann’s blood pressure needs to be kept far too high to keep it from going far too low.  When I measured two days ago it was 165/85 when she was sitting down, but when she stood up for a few moments, she fainted and was out cold for many minutes. 

The high blood pressure has weakened her heart and diminished her kidney function significantly.  Gratefully we have much more kidney capacity than we need, so she is not yet in serious danger because of the diminished kidney functioning.  As the Nephrologist said, she is likely to die with that problem, not from it. 

I guess for some, living on the edge makes life exciting.  I am here to say that Mary Ann and I would gladly accept a less exciting life!

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She sat on the bed,  fainted, and just slipped off on to the floor.  She had fainted moments before on the toilet stool.  I got her on to the bed, grateful for the physical strength that remains in this small in stature, 66 year old, pot-bellied frame. 

I finally just laid her down on the bed to nap.  It was her second nap of the day.   The third one came early in the evening.  We did manage to get out for pancakes during the mid-afternoon. 

As is obvious to those who read these posts, this story is getting to be an old one.  It is beginning to suggest that the Autonomic Nervous System is just unable to sustain her blood pressure consistently.  The muscles around her arteries just won’t respond as they should, at least as quickly as they should. 

We have increase the medicine that raises the blood pressure, but have to be cautious about that, since years of high blood pressure have already weakened her heart and kidneys.  The Cardiologist will get another call on Monday. 

The Cardiologist will want to know what her blood pressure has been running.  It is no small task to get a read on her blood pressure.  The battery operated blood pressure monitors are pretty much useless when trying to measure Mary Ann’s blood pressure.  More often than not, there is just an error message.  Either her BP is too high and cannot be measured, or the dyskinetic movements create noises in her body that confuse it. 

I have purchased a stethoscope and pressure band to take her blood pressure myself.  I can get the meter pressure high enough, but the variety of sounds have frustrated my ability to get a good reading.  At times I have been able to do it — not today.  Gratefully we have a parish nurse at our congregation.  She cares very much for Mary Ann and will come and help whenever we need her and it is possible for her to come.

I called Parish Nurse Margaret, who came over to take her blood pressure.  As always, she brought flowers from their flower garden and vegetables from their vegetable garden. 

She arived shortly after Mary Ann had taken her mid-day dose of the blood pressure raising medicine.  Sitting in her chair, her BP was 140/70.  Then we walked into the bedroom to test the effect of standing up and walking.  She sat on the bed and Margaret took it again.  Mary Ann was on the verge of a fainting spell.  Her BP was 108/78.  The lower number was higher than I expected, but she said that when the two numbers are too close to together it can cause the fainting.   

Then Mary Ann laid on the bed while her BP was taken.  That is when it is usually highest, since gravity is not pulling the blood to her feet.  I wanted to measure her BP at what would be likely to be its highest point.  Knowing that measurement would help provide the Cardiologist with the information needed to make a good decision on whether or not it would be safe to increase the medicine that raises her BP to keep her from fainting.  Lying down her BP was 142/100. 

After that Mary Ann moved into her transfer chair, and we moved to the living room.  Margaret took her BP two more times as we talked for a while.  Those readings were 140/80 and 150/8o.  By the way throughout the measurements there were no missed heart beats and her heart rate remained steady at 60 beats per minute. 

With all this information the question remains, is her Autonomic Nervous System’s ability to control her blood pressure simply broken, beyond correction, or can meds provide a return to the quality of life we had a few weeks ago.  A question that follows along beside that one is, will my physical strength be adequate to hold her up with one arm while she is fainting as I pull up clothes with the other hand after using the commode.  When will we pass the limits of my ability to handle her physically?

At the moment, I am still one tough cookie.  I can do it now.  That is all I know.  It is all I need to know.   I’ll deal with tomorrow when it arrives.    I have neither the time nor the energy to waste worrying about what it might bring. 

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This morning was the worst morning yet in regard to fainting.  I don’t recall that she fainted during the trips to the commode during the night and in the morning.  When she got up, we made it through pills and her usual yogurt, juice, and today she chose a granola bar from the other regular options. 

Then the fainting began in earnest.  She fainted every time she stood up even to transfer from the dining room chair to the transfer chair.  What was most concerning to me was that after moving her in the transfer chair to her usual spot by the little table to watch television, she fainted.  She was sitting in the chair, had not gotten up and down, but was just sitting and went out cold. 

Orthostatic Hypotension is the blood vessels not constricting when a person stands up, allowing gravity to keep most of the blood in the lower part of the body, slowly reducing the blood flow to the brain.  She was just sitting down.  She had not gotten up. 

Of course, after she came out of that syncope, she insisted on standing up, and fainted every time.  I asked her if she wanted to lay down for a nap, but she was determined not to do that today. 

She decided that she wanted to get dressed.  I rolled her into the bedroom.  When she stood up, she fainted again. When she has fainted, sometimes when she comes around, her eyes shut tightly, her lips purse and she sort of twists her head to the side.  That usually means that she has shut down and can only lie down and nap.  This time I asked her again if she wanted to lie down, expecting either a yes or no answer.  She said no.  I asked if she wanted to get dressed.  She said yes.  She was determined.  I managed to get her transferred to the bed to begin the process of taking off her top to get dressed. 

She fainted again just sitting on the bed.  This time I just arranged her on the bed, covered her with the sheet and she stayed out and slept for a time.  She did not sleep quite as long as on other days, maybe an hour or hour and a half. 

When she woke up, she was better.  While she still fainted, she could stand up longer and did so more in accord with the pattern of previous days.  The rest of the day has continued the pattern of the last couple of weeks.  She was able to function.  As has been so recently, I could not really leave the room to speak of, since she continued to be in pop-up mode.  She could walk eight or ten feet, but then needed to sit down. 

The Cardiologist’s office called this morning to respond to my request about increasing the Midodrine, the medicine that raises her blood pressure to minimize the syncopes due to the Orthostatic Hypotension.  The suggestion was to increase each of the three doses in the day by 50%.  Instead of one pill, one pill, and then a half pill four hours apart, it could be increased to one and a half pills, one and a half pills and one pill four hours apart. 

Normally I would titrate the increase over a few days.  After this morning, I decided to make the full change right away.  The noon and suppertime doses have been increased.  Tomorrow morning that dose will be increased.  My hope is that this will move us back over the threshold to a more manageable pattern.  We live very close to the margins of functionality. 

We should know pretty soon if the change will take us back to the version of normal we were experiencing a couple of weeks ago.  We may have to adapt to a new normal.  We prefer the old normal to this new one that seems to be trying to emerge. 

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I got the dreaded phone call.  I was at work, Mary Ann was at home with a wonderful, capable Volunteer who had agreed to stay with her for a three hour shift.  Some days there were as many as five different people to cover all the time I was at work, which often included evening meetings.   Mary Ann had fallen in the bathroom and hit her head on the ceramic tile floor. 

Understand, Mary Ann is not the sort to just sit still and wait for someone to tell her when she can get up.  Her independence (a euphemism for stubbornness) has carried her through challenges any one of which would have taken a person with less strength of will.  Mary Ann got up to use the bathroom — a simple and necessary task.   Parkinson’s or not, Mary Ann can move like lightning.  She moves with a determination that says, don’t mess with me, I can do this.

Either before or after the task at hand, as she stood, Orthostatic Hypotension entered the story.  That is one of the many things we have come to know about.  We now know more than we ever had any interest in learning.  I could have gone to my grave without ever knowing what Orthostatic Hypotension is, and would have been content and fulfilled.  When anyone of us stands up, our blood pressure drops.  In an instant our blood vessels constrict to raise our blood pressure so that, among other things, our brain has enough blood to function fully.  OH is what happens when people who have a compromised autonomic response (in her case, medicine and disease process) stand up and the resulting blood pressure change is not corrected.  The person faints.  The doctors call it Syncope.  Somehow knowing the medical jargon makes me feel better able to deal with the multiple medical professionals on our team.  They may very well think it sounds silly, since I am sure I don’t always use the terms correctly. 

Here is the important part of this story.  Mary Ann fell on that hard floor, smashed her glasses into her face producing a bloody nose that would not quit.  What appeared worse than that was the giant hematoma on her forehead.  Because of the blood thinning character of Plavix, which she takes to help prevent another stroke, her forehead filled with enough blood to bring the protruding bump to the size of a softball. 

When I arrived home, she was still on the floor with her face down, blocking our veiw of the hematoma.  It became obvious as soon as I got her up off the floor that we needed to get to the Emergency Room.   

How can we keep our Loved One safe if we use Volunteers? 

First of all, we can’t!  We cannot keep our Loved One completely safe whether we use Volunteers, or paid Professionals, or never leave her/him alone.  Either we come to terms with that reality or go completely nuts, becoming useless to our Loved One and ourselves. 

With that said, we do have an obligation to use whatever means are at our disposal to create as safe an environment as possible.   This is not just about the safety of our Loved One.  What can we do to keep ourselves and the Volunteers safe?  If we hurt ourselves trying to help our Loved One we will cease to be able to give the care that is needed.  If a Volunteer hurts him or herself, we will feel responsible for our part in letting them be hurt, their lives will be disrupted, they will not be able to help your Loved One, and someone will be liable for any costs associated with their care. 

Are you scared yet?  Have you just phoned all the Volunteers and told them to stay home?  While we cannot guarantee no one will be hurt, we can make responsible decisions on what to do to minimize the likelihood of someone being hurt and at the same time prepare for that contingency. 

What follows are just a few of the things we have done over the years to address safety issues:

Mary Ann wears a gait belt at all times — something she hates.  A gait belt is just what is sounds like, a belt that is a help when she is walking.  I walk beside her (when I can get there fast enough) and put my hand lightly on the back of the belt.  Because it is at her waist, high enough in relation to her center of gravity, if she begins to get out of balance, it takes very little pressure to pull her back from going over.  We found a non-profit that makes them in a variety of colors, www.gaitbelt.com.  Gratefully, they are also very inexpensive.

After Mary Ann’s fall in the bathroom we began by putting down on the floor mats for children’s play areas. We now use them in the garage  to cover the area she is in when she goes out the door into the garage to get in the car.  We got ours at Sam’s Club, but here is an online link showing the floor covering:  http://www.matsmatsmats.com/kids/playroom-floor/soft-floor.html  We found a shower mesh floor that avoids the problem of mold due to moisture trapped under the mat, it resists mold.  It can be found at http://www.duragrid.com/shower.html  That is what now helps protects Mary Ann from hurting herself badly if she falls to the floor in the bathroom.  It looks good and is easy to install and remove for periodic cleaning.

We found that some of those people who served as Physical, Occupational and Speech therapists were willing to give their time to come to a gathering of Volunteers to demonstrate how to help Mary Ann without hurting her or them.  Once in one of those training sessions Mary Ann got on the floor and the therapist showed how best to help her up.  They were willing to demonstrate simple activities that could be done with Mary Ann to provide appropriate mental and physical stimulation.   

We put together a booklet filled with all sorts of information.  It includes contact numbers, whom to call for help getting her up if she falls, what hospital we use, directions to the house that may be given to the Emergency folks if 911 must be called.  The booklet is to go with her to the hospital, so it includes the names of Mary Ann’s doctors, a current list of medications, her Living Will.

It also includes a description of what to do when Mary Ann gets up to walk, what to do and not do when she begins to fall, what help she needs with personal tasks.  It lists things that are normal for Mary Ann but might concern a Volunteer, dyskinetic (involuntary) movements, dizziness, confusion. 

We talk through with new Volunteers what to expect.  We assure them that we understand that none of us can control what happens, to help relieve them of concern that they will be held responsible if she falls and hurts herself.

Finally, we have obtained an umbrella insurance policy to help provide for the contingency that someone might be hurt trying to help Mary Ann.  With so many people in and out of the house, there is a vulnerability that comes. 

After the fall, we took Mary Ann to the Emergency Room.  Even though she had fallen flat on her face on a ceramic tile floor from (apparently) a standing up position, she broke nothing, not even her nose.  It took hours each of two days to get the nosebleed to stop.  When the packing came out a few days later, to our surprise, it did not start bleeding again.  She did not have a skull fracture but was pretty confused for a few days.  We did need to get a new pair of glasses.  Mary Ann seems to be made of iron.  She has fallen multiple times, sometimes more than once in a day, but has broken no bones. 

Safety is an issue whether there are Volunteers or not.  Our job as Caregivers is to do what we can to create as safe an environment as is reasonable given the place in which we live, the resources we have and our Loved One’s need for some independence.  Having done that, it is time to let go of the constant terror we could choose to embrace.  Life is too short to waste living in fear.  Live safely, but live. 

What are some things you do to make your Loved One as safe as possible?  Do you use Volunteers?  Where do you find them?  How do you prepare them?  How is it going?

If you want to write a comment about this or any of the posts on this blog, look to the column on the right side of this page, titled “Recent Posts,”  click on the name of a post and you will find a box at the end of that article in which you can write a comment.  Clicking on the title of the post you are reading will accomplish the same thing.  Comments are appreciated.