Danger! Danger! Alien attacks again. This Alien presence from planet Pedometer Prime has had his way with me again. I was out and walking some time before 7:30am. I had no idea there was a 7am on Monday. I didn’t think they started measuring time until at least 9am.
The Alien and Mary Ann were in collusion. As suspected, sleep did not go quite as well last night after a daytime nap yesterday and earlier to bed than usual. The consequence was that she woke up at 6:45am in need of food and ready to get up. Do you see how this played into the Alien’s hands? After eating a single serving snack of apple sauce, she was willing to lie down again while I went out to walk for twenty minutes or so. It seemed best not to start meds too early, since the two hour increments of medicine would end to early in the afternoon. I put the Lifeline pendant around her neck, got water for her, the television remote for the bedroom TV and headed out.
Now, of course, I am feeling energized and positive. You see how this Alien presence weaves his subversive plot? Here I am writing this post and, again, it is morning — Monday morning! I guess to be honest for those of us who are retired, there isn’t a Monday. In fact we bought a clock from Radio Shack that shows the day of the week so that we would know what day we are in.
As I thought about Mary Ann’s increased ability to walk and the better nights, the domino effect popped into my mind. The better nights have encouraged a change in my pattern of activity. It seems more possible to do an exercise walk. I am more rested and, as a result, more willing to get up in the morning to get in the walk. The walk perks up my metabolism, providing the stamina to write the post earlier in the day.
In addition, by getting up earlier, I am more ready and able to get to bed earlier. Since I am writing the post earlier in the day, I can use the time in the evening after Mary Ann goes to bed for listening to music, or engaging in a Taizé devotion, following a reading by Fr. Ed Hayes. The latest readings have come from his book, Prayers for a Planetary Pilgrim.
All of the above has been about me, the Caregiver. For Mary Ann, the good news is that she has seen little of Grumpy Caregiver and more of the patient and helpful Caregiver. My confidence in her ability to walk has freed her from my constant presence, in her face, asking her to sit back down. She has fallen on occasion, but still not often by comparison to the past. My confidence in her ability to walk has given me the feeling of being untethered. That has felt remarkably freeing.
It fascinates me just how interrelated all these circumstances are. One domino falls, touches the next. That one hits another, that one bumps one more. Sometimes one small change can grow into something far more substantial.
I have no illusions. Just as the dominoes can fall for good, they can fall for bad. The hallucinations have begun to return. Yesterday morning, there was a Raccoon in her bed. When we drove into the garage after church last evening, Mary Ann in a matter of fact tone, noted that they hadn’t thrown away the quills. I asked to what she was referring. She answered, the Porcupine quills. She saw them distinctly. When I got out of the car, turned on the lights in the garage and helped her out of the car, she saw that they were gone. She was, however sure there were some in the house. When we got in, she went into the bedroom and looked around. She didn’t comment further on the matter. Hallucinations, of course, can interfere with her sleep and keep her up for hours.
Since she got up early this morning, she may get tired and need a nap. A nap might impact her ability to sleep. The domino effect could take us back to more troublesome times.
To try to avoid that path, we have made a commitment to pick up a friend, head out for lunch and a ride. My hope is that we can keep active until Oprah. Once that time comes, she generally stays awake until bedtime.
We live on a very narrow margin of functionality. We can do very well one hour or day or week, and very badly just as easily. Right now we are on a side of that margin that has been very enjoyable. Here is hoping for more time on this side!
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The Caregiver Calling 