This is just a short post on the transition from life with Mary Ann to life on my own.  As soon as possible these posts will be on the new blog.

I began the day with the two mile walk at Cedarcrest.  One purpose of the walking is to release endorphins, a natural anti-depressant.  Following that I continued my efforts at cleaning the office.  That also helps provide a sense of some tiny bit of control in the face of such a dramatic event beyond my control as Mary Ann’s death.

The visit from the bug man helped reduce the likelihood of another ant invasion. When grieving, even little annoyances can darken a day.

There was a nice Olive Garden lunch with two of the folks that were such a support to Mary Ann. The conversation gave us a chance to talk about grief issues and share some Mary Ann stories.

After getting the estimate on the bumper replacement on the van, I went to Rebound for the health assessment.  Actually, there was not a body mass index worked out.  Either it is not part of the assessment, or, as I suggested in an earlier post, he could see plainly the mass under consideration, the one just above my belt line.

The fellow doing the assessment is a physical therapist.  He did a thorough check to be sure I would be able to handle the exercise program.  After walking around the perimeter of the building a couple of times at a brisk pace, he had me do as many steps on a small platform as I could do in a minute and a half.  At the end of that time he said I had the record of the most done by anyone whom he has assessed.  I chose not to ask the average age or condition of those he has assessed.  I thought I would just bask in the glory.

As a different kind of step in the healing process. I went to a support group this evening.  I had not been feeling very good today, still a residual from the weekend, and just the pain that comes at its choosing, not mine.  I was apprehensive about how valuable it would be.  Some in the group knew each other very well and had been together for many years.  Some seemed much older than me (I forget sometimes how old I am) and I was not sure it would be a group that would be a benefit.

I was pleasantly surprised.  The group was open and communicative.  I became an active part of the conversation immediately (surprise!).  There was laughter, there were tears.  They were helpful to me in dealing with some of the most challenging dimensions of the grieving process for me at this point.  The materials we used this evening were fitting, stimulating good conversation, touching my sore spots with some healing salve.

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