No post tonight.  I just drove ten hours.  I am wasted.  The trip went well.  Coming into the house has not been as difficult as I expected.  The weekend was healing and helpful.  There were some moments of deep sadness as I began the trip home, but most of the day was okay.  There were times I thought about some of the worst moments in our last days.  It was hard to see Mary Ann weakening.  Those images will always be powerful.  I was able to feel the sadness, lament her suffering, touch the guilt of not being more consistently kind to her over the years, without getting lost in the feelings.  I can’t change what I did or did not do, what she suffered.  Embracing His love and forgiveness, freely given, offers hope that healing will continue.

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