It started with the comment, “last week was really terrible.”  I asked her if she meant the hallucinations. I listed a number of them that I remembered.  When I mentioned the one about my asking for a divorce, she elaborated.  She wanted to know if it was real.  Again, I assured her that divorce was not an option, and she would not get rid of me that easily.

When she elaborated, it was clear that this was a vivid and detailed experience for her that impacted her emotionally.  There were watering eyes and a quivering lower lip as it came out.

She said I had better call my sister Gayle.  Apparently, in her mind not only did she talk with Gayle about it, but Gayle and my Brother Dave and Sister-in-Law Velda were with her at the wedding when I married someone else. She remembered her name, “Lulu.”  At one point, we both laughed at the name.  I asked her to at least fine me someone with a different name than Lulu (no offense to any reader who may be named Lulu).

She also asked if our kids were divorced.  I asked which couple, she said both.  Somewhere in the jumble of hallucinations/delusions/dreams the kids had divorced.  That is when her eyes began to drip a bit.

Now I understand better why she asked me that one night if I shouldn’t be with my wife.  She must have been referring to the one I had married after divorcing her.

I am grateful that we  have had a couple of good days and nights so that there was enough clarity to be able to process what she experienced.

She slept well (as did I) last night again.  She seemed not to be hallucinating very much today.  There were still some of the threads and tiny gold chains she picks up, tries to get off her fingers and into the waste basket.  That is almost a constant presence.

Bath Aide Zandra came and did her shower and hair.  Zandra voiced concern for Mary Ann’s weight loss and her rapid decline.  She wondered about the increased size of the Exelon patch, whether or not meds were adjusted for her lower body weight.  It is generally true that older and more frail patients often need lower doses of medication due to changes in weight and how medicines are metabolized — more to add to the fax to the Neurologist.

After she was dressed and ready to start the day, I needed to help her eat at breakfast.  She did pretty well at lunch on her own.  She was in her chair much of the day, sitting up some, other times in the sitting with her head in her lap mode.

Volunteer Clarene was here for part of the afternoon, so I was able to do some errands and spend a little time walking the path at Cedarcrest.

I had talked with Mary Ann a number of times about going to the 5pm Ash Wednesday worship service.  The brisket and cheesy potato dinner following the service was a plus for her.  When I returned from the errands, I changed for church and we managed to get to to the service.

It was good to sit in church and look around at the people who had been such an important part of my life for so many years.  Mary Ann did reasonably well in the service, just struggled with sitting up in the pew.  I had to gently pull her into the sitting position and hold her there some of the time.

After the service, we headed down to the meal.  One of the Youth helped get our tray to the table.  When we sat down it was apparent that Mary Ann would not be able to handle the meal.  She was shut down — a term used when the Parkinson’s medication is not providing mobility.  It was a little hard to see her sitting there with her head down, immobile while the young family (really nice folks) at the table with us was unsure how to react to her.

She wanted to try to feed herself, but she couldn’t get her hands working.  She agreed to let me help her eat.  Gratefully, most folks know us well enough that they didn’t seem to give a second thought to my feeding Mary Ann.  She liked the food and ate quite a bit.  She accepted someone’s offer to bring her one of the apple desserts.  By that time another young couple, Don and Edie’s Son, Daughter-in-Law and, more importantly, their new little baby joined us. They know us well enough to be very matter of fact about our situation.

Yes, there was a stop on the way home to pick up some Baskin and Robbins.  Mary Ann is now in bed.  I have the uncomfortable feeling that she is having some trouble settling down.  We may be heading into a troublesome time.  There is no telling where the ride will take us tomorrow.  We are both grateful for a couple of good nights and days.

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