This will take a long time to write. I am heading to the bedroom every five or ten minutes to help talk Mary Ann back into bed after getting up to respond to another dream/hallucination. It is taking a long time, longer each trip into the bedroom, to talk her down from whatever it is.
Mary Ann insisted on getting her pj’s on and going to bed at 4:45pm today. She got up fairly early this morning. Last night included a few more times up. At least it wasn’t until after 6am that she starting trying to get up for the day. Right away this morning she had that very intense lucidity that is laced with a little hyperactivity. That particular version of lucidity lies just at the entrance to the place where the hallucinations run wild.
I managed to convince her to stay at the bed long enough for me to get myself showered and dressed. Then we moved quickly through getting her dressed, hair washed, pills taken and breakfast eaten. Things slowed a bit as she enjoyed a leftover orange/pecan sticky bun. Almost the first thing Mary Ann remembered this morning was that there should be one left if I didn’t eat it.
Edie came to stay with Mary Ann while I headed up to the lake for some time away. By the time Edie arrived, Mary Ann had finished eating and had her head down on the table. At one point while in that position Mary Ann said something about the people stealing money. I explained to Edie her recurring fear that “the people” are taking money from the loose change jar. It is still out of sight next to my bed after the time she asked me to hide it so they couldn’t get it.
When I got back from the lake, Mary Ann was resting (in and out of sleep) on her bed. Edie always brings and then cooks a lavish meal when she comes to stay with Mary Ann one Sunday morning a month. The food was hot and ready to eat, but Mary Ann was not ready to get up and eat it. I went ahead and ate. Shortly after I was done, Mary Ann was ready to get up and eat.
After eating, she soon ended up in front of the television with her head down. She was awake some of the time. Later, I asked her if she wanted supper before or after the Evening Service at church. She did not respond to that, but it was then that she decided to get ready and go to bed.
Last night was not wonderful for sleep. Tonight has been filled with activity so far. It is extremely likely that the hallunations today will be compounded tomorrow due to the lack of sleep. That means that I also will be wanting for sleep. Maybe this is the week I will end up with a paid person here so that I can get a good night’s sleep.
Given all the ups and down and twists and turns in the last weeds of this ride we are on I was grateful to have a couple of hours away from the house during the daytime hours. The need for Sabbath time is not exclusively for people of the Judeo-Christian tradition. Whatever word is used for it, the fact that we have come into existence with the need for sleep suggests that there is need for rest whether rooted in God’s creation of us with that need and calling it sabbath, or a need that emerged over aeons of evolutionary change (or both).
I think everyone needs some sort of intentional time for re-grouping, renewal time, time to think and process events, time alone, time to stop the stream of thoughts filling our head, and allow time to be quiet, time for intuitive connections to be made, the ones outside our power to force solutions to problems. I certainly need such times.
Again today, the timing of Mary Ann’s needs frustrated plans to attend Corporate worship (worship with a community of people). This morning at the lake I had some sabbath time, not corporate, but nonetheless sabbath time.
Of course the natural environment there speaks loudly to me of a connection with a Creator who has chosen to love me unconditionally. The Eagles were fewer in number but still entertaining. One caught and ate his lunch within binocular distance of me. There were ducks and geese and gulls. Blizzard conditions gathered power for a time as I sat in my warm van.
I read from Weavings, the Spritiuality Journal to which I subcribe. I pulled out the Ingantian Retreat book that I ordered and spent time reading the next week’s suggested activities. As usual, there were suggested Scripture references. I read some of them and found them very meaningful.
I put on a CD of Medieval Music. Anyone who studies music history discovers quickly that most early music is church music, or has its roots there. The CD of Medieval Music is included words and themes that supported my sabbath tradition.
Since Mary Ann went to bed so early, I had time to put on the last Celtic Woman DVD from PBS. Because of my experience a couple of weeks ago with a CD by one of the members of that franchise, I have realized how many of the songs sung by that group have lyrics and themes that emerge from my Spiritual tradition. It makes sense, since the religious tradition of the Irish, at least after the early Celtic Paganism practiced by the Druids, is a just a different branch of the same tradition.
Putting the bits and pieces together provided some sabbath time today that has helped. While corporate worship is an important part of any healthy sabbath experience, the bits and pieces helped keep my feet securely planted in the unconditional love that provides the support I need to deal with all that daily living brings.
If you want to write a comment about this or any of the posts on this blog, look to the column on the right side of this page, titled “Recent Posts,” click on the name of a post and you will find a box at the end of that article in which you can write a comment. Clicking on the title of the post you are reading will accomplish the same thing. Comments are appreciated.
Leave a Reply