Well, lunch and a movie.  The day began with Mary Ann’s Bible study group at church.  She got up early enough to make it, and the report was that she was alert and engaged and communicative during the class. As we were about to leave, she wondered if she should stay home, since she might have one of her attacks.  She was referring to the times of intense hallucinations.  I said I thought we should not give that experience the power to decide for us what we should do.  I checked with her to confirm that she truly has not been having hallucinations in the last couple of days.

After the class we went out to eat a place called called New City Cafe.  They have great food, done in a catering style.  The customer orders at a long case with the plates of food already prepared.  Mary Ann loves the Seafood Tortellini.  It is also easier for her to eat than most foods.  She was not moving well and, to my surprise, was willing to let me feed it to her.  She has done it with ice cream but very rarely in a regular restaurant. We were in a very exposed location.

After eating, we drove over to the theater and found a feature of Avatar that was about to begin.  She reluctantly agreed to that movie.  I have wanted to see it in a theater on a large screen since the PR on it suggested that the visuals are impressive.  That certainly was so.  The music and colors of the fantasy world breathtaking, especially with the 3-D glasses.  Mary Ann tried the glasses, but did not like them. She watched it without them.  When I took them off the image was not clear, but she seemed okay with it.

Her opinion of it was that it was a glorified Star Trek (which for me is a good thing)..  She was decidedly unimpressed.  I found it very entertaining.  The story line was the same as every other action movie.  There are very good guys and very bad guys.  The bad guys hurt the good guys and then — you had better go see the movie to find out.  It was just a very imaginative use of technology to create a powerful visual experience.  It was fun to imagine riding on the backs of those odd pterodactyl-like creatures as they flew among floating mountains.

After the movie we came home.  At that point the day was the best we have had in weeks.  The good news is that Mary Ann seems to be adjusting to the increased dosage of Seroquel.  The bad news is that Mary Ann seems to be adjusting to the increased dosage of Seroquel.

She was able to get up earlier today without struggling to awaken.  She was alert, no hint of sedation.  That was an improvement.  She insisted that she needed to do something with the turkey (small whole turkey, I think) she had in the fridge.  There was, of course, no turkey.  She has had that in her mind before a couple of times when it was not so.  I can’t remember ever other than Thanksgiving or Christmas having a turkey in the fridge or freezer.

Then she asked me about her trip to Wyoming. It was real wasn’t it?  That was one of her hallucination/delusions last week.  She asked about the word from Allen, was that real.  Her memory of that information was more than the simple relaying of well-wishes via a third party email.  I asked about some of the other hallucinations she had had.  She did not remember them (jail, Alaska).  She did remember some of the hallucinations about her Grandma, talking almost as if she believed her Grandma was still alive. The hallucinations seem to lie just on the edge of her reality.  I hope the medication helps keep them on the other side of that edge.

Tonight, she took her night time meds about three hours ago.  She has been needed my help three or four times, and seems to be having difficulty settling down.  I hope she continues to sleep well.  When she does not, the hallucinations fire up.

During the first half of the day I was exhilirated by how well she was doing. It seemed as if I had her back. I hoped that we would continue to have good quality time for a long time to come.  This afternoon deflated any illusion that we now had the problems at bay.  While reality has made itself known, hope has not left.  Sunday morning seemed to reset my understanding of what is happening here.  I remain determined to get the best quality out of each day and at the same time I am fully aware of the inevitable.  We choose not to let the inevitable become a reality any sooner than absolutely necessary.  We choose to give it no more power than it actually has.

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