Then why don’t we act on the obvious solution and solve the problem!
She napped for over five and a half hours today. She napped for over three and a half hours during the day yesterday. I can’t remember how long she napped the day before that. Isn’t it obvious? Just keep her up during the day and she will sleep through the night.
I just read an article in the online newsletter from ScienceNews. Apparently a recent study using rats associates sleep deprivation with an increased risk of experiencing Alzheimer’s Dementia. The assumption was that the sleep problems were a result of the disease. It now seems possible that they are part of the disease process itself. (Yes, I, too, wonder how a technician can determine if a rat has Alzheimer’s Dementia — actually, I do know the answer to that, but I am not saying here — suffice it to say, once the information is obtained, the rat no longer needs his/her pension.)
Back to the solution. Why not just keep her up all day? I am sure that solution seems obvious. If it is hard to keep a two-year-old awake when those eyes fall shut and that little body goes limp, if it is hard two get a two year old up early from a nap without a major meltdown, imagine trying to get a strong-willed, independent adult who has a right to make her own choices up from a nap when she wants and needs very much to continue sleeping.
I can remember a day some weeks ago when I managed to keep her up all day with trips here and there. She was restless that night anyway, up and down for most of it. On the other side of it, while things may change at any time, after having that more than five and a half hour nap today, she was tired and went to bed early this evening. She has been sleeping soundly for the three and a half hours since then.
Obvious solutions don’t always work. With that said, I admit that it would make sense to try to get her to sleep less during the day to increase the likelihood of sleeping soundly at night. One of the struggles with being very assertive in waking her up is that when she is napping, I have time to myself. I am able to concentrate on tasks and accomplish things that can’t be done when Mary Ann is awake, up and about.
Today was a spectacularly beautiful day, warm and breezy. With the video monitor on the table next to me, I was able to sit on the deck and read, while enjoying weather, the waterfall, the birds (hummingbirds buzzing over me regularly). I finished the book on weight control (The Volumetrics Eating Plan) with time left over for a snack of potato chips (just kidding). I did try to get Mary Ann up a number of times after the first three of the five and a half hours, but she just couldn’t do it. She had said she felt pretty bad when she laid down this morning — no wonder after two nights of almost no sleep.I knew she needed the rest.
I guess, if I appreciate the time the daytime napping gives me, I shouldn’t whine about the restless nights. I concede the point. The glitch is that I am not getting much sleep either. I could try to nap whenever she naps. That also makes sense. Were I to do that, my every waking moment would be centered around her needs. To survive and remain useful to Mary Ann, I need some time to myself when I am awake.
Sometimes obvious solutions don’t really work as well as logic would suggest they should. I suspect that those looking in from the outside lose patience when obvious solutions are not used to solve the problem about which the Caregiver is complaining
As I was preparing to write this post, I thought about the legions of Caregivers out there. First of all, every parent has experienced the challenges of caregiving, unless they have abandoned their responsibility to their child[ren]. Single parents, especially those with more than one child have challenges I can’t even begin to comprehend. There are many who have responsibilities to their children (they never end, no matter how old the children become) and at the same time responsibilities in caring for their aging parents. There are those who have severely troubled children, physically and/or mentally. They struggle to care for them, some have to make tough choices demanding allowing others to do the care at a facility outfitted for that care, having around the clock staff to give that care.
I have the luxury of having only one person who needs my full time attention. Gratefully, our children do not need our care. In fact they are members of the sandwich generation, raising their children and concerned for our needs as well.
All in all, I guess I should stop whining. I won’t, but I should. I think those who are full time Caregivers need some whining time. Blogging is great, since it creates the illusion that there are people listening.
Whether anyone is listening or not, it helps to talk about it.
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September 29, 2009 at 12:35 am
Dear Peter,
With LBD/PDD the obvious seldom works, just as one really cannot catch up on lost sleep, it is almost as impossible to awaken a sleeping spouse as it is to dream that keeping her awake during the day will result in a’normal’ night’s sleep. That’s just the way it is, my friend, accept the occasional quiet night as a gift.
Ev
September 29, 2009 at 3:19 am
Ev, As you well know, it is so often that what ends up working with LBD is counter-intuitive, and what is logical doesn’t work. Such an odd disease! Last night was one of those gifts – a quiet night. She has been awake all day. I am awaiting the verdict on tonight. So far so good, but it is still early.