Less than a year ago, Sunday, October 25th, we got into the van and headed out on our last adventure traveling together. Our first stop was the 60th birthday party of friend John in the Oklahoma City area. I had not given any indication that we might be coming, so it was a complete surprise. He had not seen Mary Ann in fourteen years. We stayed for a few hours, had a great time, and then headed for a motel that was on the way to our next stop.
That stop was a three night, four day stay at what I have no doubt is one of the very best Bed and Breakfast’s in the nation. It has been featured in Midwest Living and easily measures up to the PR on it. The name is Lookout Point, Lakeside Inn, located in Hot Springs, Arkansas. (www.lookoutpointinn.com) I have described it more than once in earlier posts.
There are twelve rooms and a condo from which to choose. Every room has a balcony or patio overlooking a quiet bay of Lake Hamilton. There is a secuded feel to it because of how it is situated at the edge of the bay. The gardens are unbelievable, lush, full of color in both spring and fall, with a large fountain feeding a stream and waterfalls that run through the gardens down to the lake. One of the rooms is fully handicapped accessible. We had stayed there a time or two before this.
The breakfast is always a gourmet meal and the 4pm wine, cheese and freshly baked goods are always a treat, especially on Chocolate Wednesday. There is original art work everywhere. Hot Springs is one of the top ranked small cities in the nation in the fine arts. Owners, Ray and Kristie are gracious hosts. Kristie is an Ordained Pastor in the United Methodist Church who remains active doing weddings and retreats among other things. The library there includes a section on Spiritual Formation. By the way, the library, a separate reading room with a fireplace and a huge sunroom, along with the dining room and large patio eating area fill out the areas available for relaxation and renewal.
Mary Ann was doing well during our time there. We got out for ice cream at least once. We toured some of the first class Art Galleries in the downtown area. We drove up a winding road right in town, a road that took us up to an overlook providing a breathtaking view extending many miles. Our last evening was spent sitting in a protected area of the outdoor patio enjoying a gentle rain.
On our previous trip to Lookout Point, Mary Ann decided that we should head to a place she thought was nearby at which people can search for diamonds and keep what they find. It was very hot when we were there last. Mary Ann used the wheel chair almost exclusively. I was picturing trying to dig around in the hot sun while at the same time having to move the wheel chair through gravel. When Kristie told us how far away it was, I was much relieved that it would be too far to manage.
Unfortunately, Kristie mentioned an alternative. It was a quartz mine in easy driving distance. It was not long before Mary Ann was sitting in her wheel chair next to a huge mound of mud, while I dug out promising hunks for her to look at and trying to find quartz crystals. Mary Ann baked in the sun and I sweated in the mud until we managed to find a few little crystals and one big one. Finally, Mary Ann said she needed to get out of the sun and we called our quartz crystal mining operation to an end. We brought back a bag of chunks of mud that have crystals in them. That was almost two years ago, and the bag of hardened hunks of mud is still in the garage waiting to be cleaned.
On this trip, gratefully, Mary Ann did not ask to go to the quartz mine. I think she had baked long enough the last time. The weather would not have allowed it anyway this time. It was just a good trip, even with the rain. We both enjoyed it in spite of the physical challenges.
On the way back home, we stopped overnight in Eureka Springs. By the time we arrived at the motel there, the gentle rain had become not so gentle, just about washing Arkansas away. It poured longer and harder than I can ever remember experiencing before. In the morning, we discovered that the breakfast that came with the room was being served in a separate building in the lower level. There was no elevator and a huge flight of cement stairs between us and the food. I went down to check on the breakfast to see if it would be worth the effort to try to get Mary Ann to it. There was a very large dining area with long tables laden with all sorts of breakfast foods, including hot out of the oven Quiches of various kinds.
It was too good a layout to just try to bring up a couple of morsels to the motel room. We decided to try to get Mary Ann down the stairs and into the dining room. She stood up at the top of the first section of stairs while I moved the wheelchair to the first landing. Then I went back up and held her tightly as we moved down the stairs. Remember, people with Parkinson’s can negotiate stairs better than level areas. The problem, of course, was the issue of the Orthostatic Hypotension that caused her to faint after a time of standing or walking. Since the last visit to my Brother’s home, Mary Ann had been walking without fainting. We had increased a medicine (Midodrine) that helped keep her blood pressure up, but often way above safe levels.
We made the first landing, where she sat for a bit. Then she stood up, I carried the wheelchair to the bottom of the next section of stairs, came back up and held her tightly again as we completed the descent. We both ate well, but I kept thinking about how foolish it might have been to come down the steps, since there would have to be a return trip. Finally, we were the last, and the lady in charge needed to close things up. While we would have made it back up those stairs one way or another, the lady in charge took us through the kitchen and out another door to the bottom of a steep drive for delivery trucks.
The drive was so steep it was almost impossible for me to keep my footing and push the chair up to the top. God is good! A delivery person arrived just at that time. Between the two of us, we managed to push her to the top of the drive. When it came to food, there was not much that would stop us.
We headed back home. Mary Ann continued to do well. That evening, October 30, Mary Ann was fine. We got up the next morning and she seemed all right. Later in the day, after she had a long nap, we headed out in the car. I stopped for coffee. When I got back to the car, she was not feeling well. I gave her a nitro pill and headed for the next stop at the store while the pill had a chance to work. After I got out of the store, she still did not feel well. She described the feeling as a heaviness in her chest. That was all I needed to hear. We stopped at the house to get a couple of things, and I took her right to the Emergency Room. As suspected, it was congestive heart failure.
She recieved wonderful care, but the decline was dramatic. She was there only a few days, but she never regained the ground she lost. It was the beginning of the last leg of her journey here, our time together. That journey is recounted in great detail in the posts written almost every day from then until the end. I am not ready or able to review those months in detail yet.
We did the best with what we had. Mary Ann squeezed the most she could out of every day. She never gave up until she decided it was time to leave. Then she just stopped eating food and drinking any liquids. For 23.5 years she pushed to the very edge of the limits the Parkinson’s put on her and then stepped over those limits, beyond what could reasonably be expected of her. I did everything I could think of and was able to do to provide the best care, the best quality of life within my power to give. I think we both dealt with what came our way, yes imperfectly, but with dignity and courage, living every day with meaning and purpose. The strength to do so did not come from us, but the One who made us and never gave up on us. The One who sits at table with Mary Ann now. I miss her more than words can say.